Love Compared to Duty
by Vatrel
Summary: After the Arrancar war there are still wounds to be healed and a lot of work to do. Hitsugaya is slowly growing feelings for Hinamori... but how does she feel? And will he be able to accept his new feelings when there seem to be lives on the line?
1. Confronting

Um, this is more of a prologue since nothing actually happens yet. By the way, note that I do not live in an English speaking country and I may or may not have trouble with grammar and/or spelling. But I'm doing my best.

Disclamer: I do not own BLEACH. I wouldn't have the time to work with yet another manga; and I'm not THAT good at writing stories.

**-----------**

**ONE - Confronting**

Several low-ranked shinigamis quickly got out of his way that day with expressions of angst and curiosity as the 10th division captain, Hitsugaya Toushirou, hurried through the hallways, heading for his office. As he reached it, he slammed the door open and glared into the room, with aqua-coloured eyes filled with frustration. As he had suspected, his vice captain Matsumoto Rangiku were slacking off on the couch.

"Matsumoto!!"

Surprised and caught off guard by the young captain's sudden yelling, the big-breasted vice captain nearly fell off the couch.

"... Well if it isn't taichou!" she smiled heartily.

Hitsugaya frowned. _No worries in the whole world, as usual._

"You have _work_. You were out drinking with Abarai and Kira last night, _again_, weren't you?"

Matsumoto sat up in the couch, still smiling towards her angry, white-haired captain. She ignored the fact that he was scolding her for the fifth time in two days because she had been out drinking. But of course she had to tease him a little.

"Whatever gave you that idea, taichou?"

Matsumoto found it overly amusing when Hitsugaya's left eyebrow twitched. The captain pointed towards the door and replied in a cold tone.

"Kira was found unconscious on the hallway with no..." He stopped in the middle of the sentence, trying to find a decent way to phrase it. "... Unproperly dressed."

Matsumoto giggled at the thought.

"Oh, poor Kira-kun, he had too much."

Hitsugaya walked up in front of the woman and gave her a cold glare.

"This is not a laughing matter, Matsumoto! It has to be tough on Kira too, with Ichimaru gone. He has work too, and it'll only get delayed if you keep... getting him drunk."

Matsumoto waited for her captain to cool off a little before giving him a warm smile and replying:

"What's wrong with having some fun with your friends once in a while? Taichou, you should relax more often. Too much work isn't good for you."

_Outrageous._

"It would help out if you did some of it", Hitsugaya countered.

Matsumoto laughed. "Touché!" She patted on the empty spot beside here, but Hitsugaya declined. He prefered standing up.

"Go to your private quarters, taichou. Get some rest. ... Or, you could go for a walk with Hinamori-chan!"

"She's got work too! And... I bet she's a wreck after Aizen's betrayal."

Hitsugaya almost spit the name of the former 5th division captain out. There were a lot of contempt in his voice. But Matsumoto pretended as if he hadn't mentioned Aizen at all.

"Then you should go help her, taichou. I'm sure she'll appreciate it. I'll finish everything here, so don't worry!"

_At least being with Hinamori beats spending time with this... devourer of sake. But I hope for her sake she really will do paperwork today._

Hitsugaya let out an exhausted sigh and decided to go with Matsumoto's suggestion.

_That woman's going to get me killed someday._

The small captain was in deep thoughts while heading over to the 5th division. He hadn't seen his childhood friend, Hinamori Momo, very much lately. Having found out that the one person you've been admiring and loving for so long is a cold-hearted villain isn't something you get over in a week.

Hitsugaya tightly clenched his fists. He hated Aizen. He hated him for deceiving, betraying and hurting Hinamori. And he hated himself for not being able to protect her.

He suddenly stopped. In front of him was the entrance to the office. Was she in there? He lifted his hand to knock on the door, but hesitated in his movement. Did she want to meet him? ... Did she want to meet anyone? Hitsugaya shook his head. He had to act normal. For her sake.

When he regained control of his fingers again, he barely touched the door...  
... before it opened, with a slight, shuffling sound.

--------------

What do you think so far? Please be constructive in your reviews.


	2. Realization under the bleeding moon

Oh well, even though nothing really happens between them here either, it's still a HitsuHina fanfic. I'm hoping to get some more stuff into the next chapter. Look forward to it!

Disclaimer: I do not own BLEACH.

**---**

**TWO - Realization under the bleeding moon**

**---**

There she stood.

Hitsugaya had to use all of his willpower to stop his eyes from betraying him - the feeling he got while watching his childhood friend's obscure eyes that hadn't welcomed sleep in weeks, her shoddy clothes and messy hair... was indescribable. The young captain managed to maintain his calm on the surface, but on the inside he felt terrible.

She suddenly opened her mouth and spoke, sending Hitsugaya a stiff, fake smile. How she was struggling, just to smile. Hitsugaya felt a tug at his heart - the voice coming out of her mouth seemed to belong to someone else.

"I felt your reiatsu... Please, come in... Hitsugaya-taichou."

Hitsugaya froze. As Hinamori turned and walked back into the room, he watched her back with eyes wide open. For so long, he had told her to address him properly by his title instead of pestering him with the nickname "Shiro-chan". But back then, there were so much warmth in that name. No, she wasn't talking to her childhood friend Shiro-chan right now. She was talking to Captain Hitsugaya Toushirou of the 10th division. The thought made the captain in question shiver with uneasiness.

And yet he entered the room and closed the door behind him. There was no turning back.

_She's mad at me. Because I couldn't "save" Aizen... I wonder if she hates me now._

"Would you like some tea?"

Hitsugaya returned to reality when Hinamori woke him up from his deep thoughts.

"No, I'm good. ... Say, do you need any help in here? Too much work isn't good for you."

He quietly thanked his vice captain for telling him the exact same thing.

"No, thank you... I believe I'll be fine by myself."

Hitsugaya desperately tried to hide his disappointment. He failed, but his reaction was misunderstood.

"Rangiku-san told you to come here, didn't she?"

Point blank. Hitsugaya was clueless as to what he should say. It was true that Matsumoto had suggested he should help out, but he decided on his own. Yet, he quietly nodded.

Hinamori sighed.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. Thank you for the trouble, Hitsugaya-taichou."

"Hinamori!!" Hitsugaya suddenly shouted, quickly taking a position in front of the ragged girl, who let out a surprised little yelp.

"F-forgive... my insolence..." she whispered, watching the floor with tears in her eyes.

Hitsugaya's heart raced at the sight of Hinamori's vulnerable expression. He weakened, and gently placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Hinamori... I..."

He was abrubtly interrupted by an annoying noise that could only be one thing at a time like this.

A hell butterfly was there to give him a hasty message.

Hitsugaya glanced at Hinamori, ready to rush out of the room to greet his duties. But he shouldn't - couldn't - leave her like this, in this weakened state. She needed him right now.

And then he heard it, its mechanical voice, ringing in his ears, reminding him of what he must do as a captain. He watched as the butterfly fluttered away. How he wanted to just rip those wings off of it.

"Hinamori..."

He quickly removed his hands from her shoulders and turned, heading for the door, when a shivering hand caught his sleeve. Hinamori was looking at him with eyes in desperate need of consolation. Hitsugaya tightly shut his eyes and removed her grip from his clothing.

_Why is my body acting like this? Every instinct I've got is telling me to embrace her, right here, right now, and never let go. But... I..._

There was no time for hesitation. Someone of his stature doesn't have the luxury to choose.

_Forgive me, Hinamori!_

As he ran, his eyes burned for a reason he did not comprehend.

---

The eyes of nine captains fell on Hitsugaya Toushirou, as he entered the meeting room. His cold surface had returned, and while calmly watching the wooden floor below him, he excused himself for being late.

The 1st division captain, Yamamoto Genryuusai, nodded his head and accepted the youngster's apology. The old man cleared his throat and continued his interrupted speech.

"Now, as I was saying... This is a worrying matter, and I am not sure as to how we should proceed."

2nd division captain, Soi Fon, took an opportunity to speak.

"The arrancars should all be dead by now. Are you saying there are more of them?"

Hitsugaya frowned. _Arrancars? I thought we..._

Yamamoto nodded.

"Sources say that a large amount of arrancars have been spotted lately in the living world. They also seem to control an even larger amount of Menos."

A deep sigh could be heard from 11th division's captain, Zaraki Kenpachi, as he commented in his rough voice:

"Sounds like one hell of an annoying matter."

_Indeed._

"I have taken into consideration that we should yet again send out several high-ranked shinigamis to the living world to investigate. It is necessary to find out why there are still arrancars roaming about."

An eerie silence followed. Everyone waited for the old man's decision. Finally, he broke the silence.

"Kuchiki Byakuya, Abarai Renji, Kira Izuru, Madarame Ikkaku, Hisagi Shuuhei and... Hitsugaya Toushirou will be going to the living world."

The young captain noticed how all the blood in his veins suddenly went cold and stopped. He had to leave on yet another mission? That would mean he'd have to leave Hinamori! Why now? At a time like this, when she's in desperate need of a shoulder to lean on. With both him, Abarai and Kira gone, she would...

_I don't want to leave her here. I'd worry myself to death._

His heart raced faster and faster at the thought of coming back to a Hinamori filled with hate and contempt towards him. He turned pale.

_I don't want that. I want to stay here and protect her...!_

He wanted to see her beautiful smile again, hear her laughter, feel her happiness. And suddenly it all came to him. Love.

_Damn... Hitsugaya Toushirou, you're the worst...!_

And he ran.

_I'm not going to look back. Hinamori is better of without someone like me...!_

The sun set early that day. In the thick silence of the night, if one would listen closely, one would hear the lonely crying of a helpless girl, echoing in the dark of the bleeding moon.

----

NOTE: Dark of the Bleeding Moon is actually the name of the second part of the BLEACH musical, the one after Saien. I figured I'd use that name/quote to be a little... poetic.

Well, that's it for this chapter. Please be constructive in your reviews.


	3. Questioning in the cold

I couldn't find a decent way to put in everything I wanted here, so I decided to shorten it down.

**Disclaimer: If you think I own BLEACH, you're highly overestimating me. 'Cause I don't own BLEACH and never will.**

**---**

**THREE - Questioning in the cold**

---

Hinamori woke up to a chilly morning, feeling terrible after suffering from yet another nightmare. The worried expression of her childhood friend from yesterday crawled back into her system, making it impossible to stop the tears from coming again.

Maybe she had been too cold towards him the other day - he had looked so hurt. But she hated the way everyone looked at her, as if she was a ghost of some sort. She had been isolated in that lonely room for so long, hearing people pass the door saying it would be best if she was left alone for a while longer. She had been so happy when she had felt Hitsugaya's reiatsu and had rushed to meet him. But she had been met with that expression of pity once more - even from him! The expression that felt sorry for her for being so weak.

Hinamori quickly rose up, and went to wash her face.

_I'm just causing everyone trouble at this rate, being so selfish... I have to properly apologize to Hitsugaya-kun._

The thought made her feel a little better... Maybe some fresh air would be nice too.

Hinamori stepped out of the office. No one was around, as usual. The 5th division had been purposely avoided for a long time now, since the memory of Aizen Sousuke still lingered. Hinamori bit her lip.

_Aizen-taichou..._

She shook her head. Why did it have to be so hard to move on? Why couldn't she forget him?

When Hinamori heard whispering voices near Hitsugaya's office at the 10th division, she stopped and decided to hide behind a wall. What could they be talking about? She sharpened her senses and listened quietly.

"... The captain's in a really bad mood today, it seems."

"Are you kidding? His reiatsu was glowing around him!"

"I heard it's that new mission. They're sending out high-ranked shinigamis to the living world."

"Idiot, since when did the captain start worrying about a mission?"

"But isn't it strange? I mean, to send out so many... Even Kuchiki-sama!"

"We're talking _arrancars_ here, dumbass. They shouldn't be taken lightly."

Hinamori had heard enough. She pressed herself up against the wall and tried to understand the meaning of what the gossiping shinigamis had said. Arrancars? Was Aizen...?

_... No! Impossible... Aizen-taichou is gone, deal with it!_

By the time Hinamori had thought this through by the fifth time, she remembered the main issue they had been talking about. Sending high-ranked shinigamis to the living world? Was Hitsugaya one of them?

As emotional as Hinamori was at the moment, she couldn't help but shedding another tear. Her legs suddenly fell under the pressure of this new burden. Sitting on the cold floor, she tightly hugged her knees and wept.

_No... Hitsugaya-kun is leaving me too... It's all because I've been so stubborn for so long! We've grown apart from each other because I can't forget...!_

Being too shaken to even think logically, Hinamori failed to notice the calm reiatsu that was getting closer. Suddenly she slightly felt the warmth of another body beside her. She looked up into beautiful aqua pools that emitted kindness.

"Hitsugaya-kun..." she whispered, her mouth formin a surprised O.

He watched her casually, putting his hand on hear head, making her hair even more messy.

"What are you doing?" Hinamori yelped.

"Idiot. You should take better care of your hair."

Hinamori pouted.

"You're hardly in a position to say that!" she replied, ruffling Hitsugaya's white hair.

He took her hand.

Before she was given any time to react, Hinamori got pulled right into his arms.

---

A thousand different thought flowed inside of Hitsugaya's mind. What was happening? It felt as if someone had completely taken over his body. He held her tightly, pressing her body against his, making his heart throb.

_Why am I doing this? This isn't right! Besides, I'm making her feel uncomfortable..._

And yet he could hardly stop himself. He had seen a trace of a smile on Hinamori's face, and it had made him so relieved, so happy that maybe she didn't hate him after all.

A slight shivering sound from Hinamori brought Hitsugaya back from his thoughts. His heart took a sudden leap, and a scared thought reached him as the blood rushed to his head. He hid his red face with one hand and quickly released Hinamori from his embrace.

_What's happening? Why are my knees shaking?_

Frightened by the fact that the girl in front of him was causing him to weaken and feel like this, Hitsugaya made a run for it. He had no idea where he was headed, as long as his heart would stop beating like crazy.

The thought that he had once again left Hinamori on her own never reached him.

---

As always, constructive reviews are highly appreciated.


	4. Struggling in the noisy silence

Um, so this one turned out a little sped up too. I'm sorry about that, I'm still trying my best.

And um, you probably won't get the chapter title until you've read it all.

**Disclaimer: If I had owned BLEACH, I wouldn't waste my time here.**

**FOUR - Struggling in the noisy silence**

---

Matsumoto suspected that her captain would have a serious fit if he found out she had been out drinking the previous night again. Lowering her reiatsu as much as she could, she quietly pushed the door to the office open.

_I hope he's not awake yet..._

She let out a relieved sigh when she noticed there was no trace of Hitsugaya inside the room. She was safe for now. She clapped her hands together and smiled.

"Let's wake him up, then!"

Anyone who couldn't notice what a good mood Matsumoto was in had to be blind. She hummed to herself while strolling down the hallway, greeting every passerby she saw with a seductive smile. When she reached Hitsugaya's private quarters, she knocked on the door, creating a little melody from the sound.

"Taichou! Wakey-wakey!"

When she didn't hear anything for half a minute, she knocked again.

"I'm coming in! And in case there's something in there I shouldn't see, cover it up!"

She added a giggle to that. No reply. Matsumoto frowned and carefully opened the door. The futon was empty, and so was the rest of the room.

_Huh... He's not here either. Why do I have such a bad feeling about this?_ Without pondering over this matter further, she decided to head over to the 5th division.

---

Hinamori couldn't count all the people she had collided with when she had returned to her own division. It wasn't like her to daydream like this. But who could blame her? What had happened only recently had been so sudden, and it had completely thrown the confused vice captain off guard.

Hitsugaya was never the one who expressed his feelings in such a loving and caring way.

_But come to think of it... I've probably made him very worried these past weeks._

The time in Hitsugaya's gentle embrace had felt like it had lasted for an hour rather than just a couple of seconds. It had felt so reassuring and warm. And, for the first time in a long while, Hinamori had felt safe.

_But he's going away soon. What if he never comes back?_

Hinamori couldn't sit still. She decided to go for a walk to keep all the worries away. But right after she had stepped out of the room, she got stuck between teo large breasts.

"Oh, is that you, Hinamori-chan?"

Hinamori freed herself from the cleavage and looked up into pale-blue eyes.

"R-Rangiku-san..." she stuttered.

"Sorry, you really startled me there", Matsumoto said with a large grin. "Say, have you seen my captain around?"

Hinamori noticed how a faint blush crept to her face when she was reminded of the last time she had seen her childhood friend.

"N... No, why?"

Matsumoto's smile slightly faded.

"No reason... It's just that I haven't seen him all day, and he's usually up early."

Hinamori gulped. She had seen him run away from her after that "incident", but she couldn't remember in which direction he had ran.

"I'm sorry, Rangiku-san... I don't--"

Both of them suddenly flinched when a familiar reiatsu a couple of miles away highly rose, making the air and soil around it instantly freeze.

Hinamori held her hands in front of her chest and bit her lip. _Hitsugaya-kun!? What... What's happening? It is his reiatsu, right...? ... Is he hurt?_

She was worried enough to run through all of Seireitei at the moment if needed. Matsumoto shared Hinamori's fears and rapidly moved towards the place where Hitsugaya's reiatsu tore up the ground.

It got colder and colder when the two of them got closer, and by the time they could see him, the ice had already blocked their path - making it impossible to aid him.

"He's just lying there! We have to do something", Hinamori shouted over the loud noise of the icy wind. The biting cold and the running had made her exhausted, and she could barely stand.

Matsumoto clenched her fists and tried to hide her frustration. She felt so helpless.

"... There's nothing we can do."

"But he'll freeze to death! Please, Rangiku-san!!" Hinamori desperately looked around for an opening in the ice, but there were none.

"I think I know someone who can help us", Matsumoto yelled. The wind was getting stronger, and if they didn't hurry, they would suffocate on dry land.

---

Yamamoto Genryuusai watched the two exhausted females as he thought through what needed to be done. He told his vice captain to hurry over to the 11th division, to ask for Zaraki Kenpachi's aid.

"We need to move quickly. Good work, you two."

Matsumoto and Hinamori bowed their heads in thanks, too tired to speak more than necessary.

They needed the old man Yamamoto to melt the icy areas so it would be safer to approach, and Kenpachi to smash the ice walls with his strength and high reiatsu.

Hinamori said a quiet prayer in her mind. _I hope it's not too late...!_

Matsumoto gave her a warm smile and said, as if she could read Hinamori's mind:

"It'll be okay. It's a good thing we acted quickly, right?"

Hinamori nodded and slowly began to calm down as the walked back towards the scene, as if it was just an ordinary day.

"But I wonder what could have happened... to make his reiatsu go up like that without him even noticing."

"We'll find out when they get him out of there", Matsumoto calmly replied. She looked a bit stiff, though. Suddenly she turned to Hinamori and stopped. "You should go back and rest."

Hinamori was quick to refuse.

"No! I'll be worried sick if I go back! Please, Rangiku-san..."

"No. You're all worn out, you could get sick if you overextert yourself like this."

Hinamori eventually gave in and went back, looking over her shoulder various times to see if Matsumoto would change her mind. When the 10th division vice captain disappeared in the distance, everything went black.

---

Matsumoto let out an exhausted sigh when she was alone again. It had been so difficult to hide her worries and look calm on the surface. She was still struck with fear of what could or might have already happened.

At least she had succeeded in sending Hinamori back home.

_Taichou wouldn't want her to see him in this state. It's better for both of them. ... But still, taichou... Please be alive... I don't know what happened to you, but please..._

A rough and fearful laughter in the distance sent shivers down Matsumoto's spine.

_Looks like someone is enjoying himself._

"Zaraki-taichou", Matsumoto shouted. "Any luck?"

The owner of the rough voice turned and faced her with an amused grin.

"It's constantly raising! It's raising like hell!! My whole body's tingling with excitement!" Kenpachi added another laughter to that and continued smashing through the ice.

Matsumoto turned to Yamamoto.

"How are you proceeding?"

The old man frowned.

"Hm. As Zaraki-taichou said, Hitsugaya-taichou's reiatsu is constantly raising... At this rate, we will lose him."

Matsumoto noticed she had bit her lip so hard that blood had started coming out. She hoped that Yamamoto didn't see how pale her face had turned after his latest proclamation.

"Surely there must be something we can do..."

Yamamoto gave it a moment of thinking before he came up with a possible solution.

"... It would be a lot easier to get rid of the ice if he was to come out by himself. Have you tried calling out to him, Matsumoto-fukutaichou?"

Matsumoto gulped. This idea had a vague chance of actually working. She had to give it a shot before it would be too late. Despite the freezing cold, Matsumoto positioned herself in front of a giant mass of ice and leaned on it. She didn't want to waste energy on shouting, and believed it would do fine speaking in a low tone.

"Taichou... Can you hear me? Please wake up..."

As she had suspected, nothing happened. _What am I supposed to say to make him react?_

"... I was drinking last night again. I drank _alot_. I'll probably have a hangover on your couch by noon."

And all that was heard, was silence, and naught but silence. Matsumoto could feel her tears freezing on her cheek.

"Taichou. What about Hinamori-chan? Aren't you going to protect her?"

The sound of Kenpachi's slashing and enthusiastic laughter along with the piercing sound of the icy wind was loudly echoing throughout the place. But Matsumoto heard nothing but silence. She clenched her fistst and hit the ice wall as hard as she could, yelling her lungs dry:

"Wake up!! Wake up and live! What happened to your promise to protect her? What happened to Shiro-chan? Is he leaving her now too?! _Taichou!!_"

Matsumoto was now able to hear the excited Kenpachi's laughter in the back of her head - but she could swear that it was not him, but that despicable silence mocking her.

---

So that's it. Wow, that was dramatic. Constructive reviews are eternally wuved.


	5. Doubting

Sorry for taking so long... I've been a little busy. Ugh, I don't like this part at all. It's too... rushed. And I feel like I'm losing my grammar skills.

Anyways, enjoy this crappy chapter.

**Disclaimer: You all know the lyrics, so sing with me: I do not own BLEACH.**

**---**

**FIVE - Doubting**

In the 3rd division, everything was quiet as usual. A little too quiet. It sometimes made its vice captain, Kira Izuru, nervous while strolling down the hallway. But this time, he could only think about what a terrible hangover he had.

"Oi, Izuru! There you are."

Kira turned his head. It was Abarai Renji, vice captain of the 6th division and also his former classmate.

"Abarai-kun? What are you doing here?"

He smiled a little while waiting for Renji to catch his breath.

"I was looking for you... Hurry, follow me!"

Without further explanations, Renji jumped up on a rooftop and started running back. Kira didn't move for the past 10 seconds, staring after his old friend with a dumbfounded expression before his aching head finally caught up with what Renji had said.

"... A-Abarai-kun! Wait!"

As Kira was running alongside his friend, Renji explained the situation to him as fast as he could.

"Some guy found Hinamori unconscious in the outskirts. She's all sweaty and is coughing all the time... I tell ya, it's not a pretty sight."

Kira watched Renji with concern in his blue eyes.

"Is she sick? Is it serious?"

"Dunno. But that's not all of it. Guess who was found trapped inside his own reiatsu cage and almost _died_?"

Kira frowned and shook his head. He had no idea, and wasn't even sure if he wanted to know.

"Hitsugaya-taichou! If he hadn't woken up, I tell ya, he'd be dead by now!"

"So... he's alright now? They got him out?"

Renji stopped. They were in front of a room where the wounded and sick were kept. Members of the 4th division were roaming the place.

"... That's what I heard, but... See, he and Hinamori... Ahh, see for yourself."

When Renji opened the door, Kira was struck by two different reiatsus, of which he recognized both of them. They were faint, but still strong in a way.

And there they were, the captain of the 10th division and the friend of both Renji and Kira; Hinamori. Both of them seemed to be in pain, twitching and moaning in the futons they had been given. But one thing made Kira even more concerned - their faces were so pale they could almost be mistaken for one of the Espada.

Kira wanted to hurry to his friend's side, but he was stopped by a small boy from the 4th division, Yamada Hanatarou.

"You mustn't get too close to her", he said. "We don't know how the virus is spreading."

"What?" Kira stopped in his movement. "A virus?"

Hanatarou watched the two diseased children and sighed.

"We don't know what it is, but it's constantly raising their reiatsu to unimaginable levels. We managed to calm it down using medical treatment, but the two of them are still suffering..."

Kira lost his sense of speech and could suddenly hear nothing but his own heartbeats, pounding faster and faster by the thought that the two of them might _die_.

He regained his senses after almost being run over by Matsumoto who just rushes in.

"How are they?" she demanded to know.

Hanatarou bowed his head.

"I'm... sorry... At this rate..."

Matsumoto closed her eyes and took a deep breath in order to calm down.

"Damn it... How could this have happened...?"

She went out again to get some fresh air, and Kira and Renji shortly followed.

"Um, Matsumoto-san... What on earth happened?" Kira dared to ask.

Once more, Matsumoto closed her eyes. When she spoke, her voice was so low that they had to lean forward in order to hear her.

"He was trapped inside... I didn't know what to do... And in the last minute, he responded to her name and managed to release... the flow..."

"What name?"

Matsumoto watched Kira as if he had been the dumbest person alive.

"... Hinamori, of course."

She smiled, but it was not a warm nor a happy smile.

"He had to make sure Hinamori-chan was alright. He lost his consciousness by the time we found her, though..."

Renji interrupted her by raising his hand a little.

"Wait. Why did he have to make sure she was alright? I mean, why wouldn't she be?"

The three of them watched each other quietly for a while.

"... Maybe he knows..." Matsumoto mumbled.

"... what that virus is", Renji continued.

"And why it attacked him", Kira finished.

---

She kept calling his name.

When Hitsugaya had opened his eyes, it had been dark already. Having Hinamori by his side made him a little reassured, but he also knew the reason why she was even there to begin with.

_It's my fault. I should have seen it coming, but... I was too confused at the time._

He tightly shut his eyelids. _No, I'm at fault. I let myself get weakened by having her in my arms. The arrancar... It took advantage over both me and Hinamori._

She called his name yet again. Anyone could tell she was afraid. Hitsugaya wanted to reach out and hold her hand, comfort her, but he didn't know how she would react to that. He didn't want to know.

He sighed. _If I really am in love with her, I have to atone for this. I can't keep getting her caught in between me and these... other feelings._

He opened his eyes and watched Hinamori struggle in the darkness. He had let the arrancar do this to her - had to hunt it down. Maybe he would find out more about the virus too. ... That's right. The arrancar. He had to get to the bottom of this, or the people in the living world - and even Soul Society - would be in great danger.

All of a sudden, Hitsugaya sat up and loudly coughed, for what seemed to be ten minutes. Blood had coloured his hand red when the attack was over.

_... What's the use, when I'm like this?_

He watched his knees without seeing anything, with a determined look on his face. After som rest, he would probably be able to handle the attacks. He nodded to himself; it was almost time to depart for the living world. Until then, he needed to rest up and get some medical treatment.

"Shiro-chan", he heard Hinamori call out again. She had witnessed his latest attack and seemed to be very worried about him.

It took a while before Hitsugaya replied, but after hearing his own words, he regretted ever opening his mouth.

"... Shut up and go to sleep."

And the rest was silence.

_Am I always this nasty towards her?_

He knew the bitterness of the truth - it was indeed bitter.

It's... going to go away when I get better...

It'll... It'll be... fine...

---

That concludes this ridiculous part. (You've guessed right, I don't like it. But for some reason, I don't feel like editing it. After all, just because I don't like it doesn't mean everyone else has to.)

I'll start writing on the next part today or tomorrow.


	6. Longing for the forbidden fruit

Finally, it's done... I just got my week though, so this part is probably not so good. I'll try harder from here on out!

**Disclaimer: I do not pwn BLEACH.**

**SIX - Longing for the forbidden fruit**

---

Darkness blinded Hitsugaya's eyes as he opened them for the first time in almost a week. He didn't want to see the concerned faces of all the stressed out assistans. Seeing them reminded him of the state Hinamori was in. Hitsugaya himself had learned how to control the virus enough for his reiatsu to stay calm, but...

He glanced towards the place where he could hear her silent breathing. He saw nothing.

... He hated this. And the fact that he got no information whatsoever out of the 4th division members made him even more frustrated.

_Just a little longer... They'll depart for the living world soon when they're done investigating. If I can just convince them that I'll be fine, I could still-_

The door suddenly opened.

Hitsugaya quickly shut his eyes and listened. Who could it be at this hour? One of the medics, perhaps? But he could hear no footsteps. Maybe whoever it was, was needed somewhere else and left. But the door was still...

_... What's that sound?_

A feeling of fear cold as the winter struck Hitsugaya when he noticed the slight hissing sound closing in. He silently and very carefully reached out his hand and grabbed Hyourinmaru beside him. More silence followed. Then the hissing reappeared, not very far from him and Hinamori.

_... Now!_

Hitsugaya let Hyourinmaru cut the being in half with a swift and rapid slash, making no unnecessary sounds.

The light from the moon outside allowed the tense shinigami to see what he had accomplished on the floor; it looked like som kind of lizard, although it was covered in a white shell with some patterns on it. Hitsugaya took a closer look.

_This is it...? It looks like an ordinary hollow to me... But the virus itself is very strong, so this must be an arrancar specialized in work like this... But then how did the door open? Did someone...?_

Normally he would report this to the research institute or at least let somebody know about it. But no. This time, it was personal.

He held the little creature tightly in his fist before putting it into a small flask. It had already started regenerating.

_You'll be of use later... in order to find a cure._

---

"How are they?"

Hitsugaya woke up to his vice captain's voice. He smiled lightly when he could hear how worried she sounded. It was a very sad smile, though.

Some colour had already returned to his face, but Hitsugaya was still very pale. He was far too afraid to turn around and find out about Hinamori's condition.

_If we make haste, she will be just fine... Matsumoto can take care of her._

He sighed, and without thinking about his own state, he punched himself in the ribs for being in such a denial. He knew very well that Hinamori cared about him very much. But if he lingered much longer, it would only make her pain - and his - even worse. She would try to act normal and eventually overextert herself for his sake; and Hitsugaya himself would hate watching it.

_I wonder how long I can keep this up... I've pulled back the worst parts of this disease, but can I fight?_

His feverish thinking was interrupted by Matsumoto, who stood by the door with a surprised expression.

"Taichou... You shouldn't be up..."

Hitsugaya forced back the sudden will to cough. He couldn't have them know how sick he actually felt.

"I... feel much better", he said while looking away. He hoped that Matsumoto wouldn't notice what a lousy liar he was.

But Matsumoto weren't watching him. She sat down next to Hinamori and put her hand on her forehead - she quickly pulled it back after realizing Hinamori's fever had gone up drastically. She called out to a medic before sitting down next to her captain.

"What happened to you two?"

Hitsugaya turned away.

"Just an ordinary cold, there's no reason to go out of your way to look for the reason. Hinamori just happened to overextert herself... I must've gotten it too when I went over to help out with her work."

The lies kept coming. Talking about this whole issue only reminded Hitsugaya of the time when both of them actually got infected. His face turned red at the thought of him embracing Hinamori in the corridor.

"... Why are you blushing?" Matsumoto asked.

"What?" He hadn't realized it himself, but he slowly began to understand why his face was so red. "I'm sick!! Give me a break!"

"I thought you said you feel better?"

"And I do feel better! Just... get out, I want to be left alone."

Matsumoto smiled and obediently walked out the door. The medic was still busy with Hinamori, but he wasn't really a nuisance.

Hitsugaya tried to come up with a plan for tomorrow, the day for departure. But his mind only contained one thing at the moment: his constantly pounding heart, Hinamori in his arms, the sweet fragrance of flowers coming from her hair and her small hands trembling on his chest.

It wouldn't disappear, and it couldn't.

_Stop it! It's not right!_

Hitsugaya buried his face in his hands and desperately searched through his mind for something calming to think of. But everything he had ever had in his mind, had been replaced with thoughts of Hinamori.

And he was trapped longing for something he thought he didn't want and couldn't have.

---

I think I'm going to throw up...

Please be constructive in your reviews. 


	7. Parting while parted

This is a rather short chapter, and to be honest, I don't really like it either. (Is there any chapter in my fic I'm actually happy with?)

**Disclaimer: Dun pwn BLEACH. D:**

**SEVEN - Parting while parted**

---

"Apparently there are lots of 'em, everywhere."

Kira flinched and faced Ikkaku with a terrified expression. While patiently waiting for the rest of the party to show up, Ikkaku was enjoying himself by tainting and explaining to Kira in detail just how dangerous this mission would turn out to be.

Renji had fearlessly been listening to Ikkaku's stories, and with an irritated tone he tried to make the 3rd seat baldy understand just why he should shut the hell up.

"Lay off on him already, Ikkaku-san", Renji said with a following sigh.

Ikkaku grinned widely, leaning towards a wall with a cocky expression.

"Well, whatever. This better be fun, know what I'm sayin'?"

Kira couldn't disagree more, but he kept his mouth shut.

He glanced at Renji who silently glanced back, and they both knew they were thinking about the same thing - as they had suspected, Hitsugaya hadn't come to meet with them. Matsumoto said she was going to check up on him and Hinamori, but both Renji and Kira felt like they couldn't leave before they could make sure everything was alright.

"Hey", Ikkaku called. "Are you two listening?"

Renji and Kira was brought back and looked at Ikkaku, both of them shaking their heads. Ikkaku sighed and pointed in a direction towards some people headed their way. It took a while before Renji and Kira could see who they were.

"Look who's headed this way", Ikkaku said with a confident smile.

"But... It's not..." Renji stared as if he had seen a ghost.

"... possible?" Ikkaku laughed. "Look right in front of you."

And what was right in front of them, was the rest of the group - and none other than Hitsugaya was among them. Ikkaku didn't mind showing how impressed he was.

"Looks like we're ready to kick som ass, ladies."

---

She had woken up to silence and emptiness.

When Hinamori tried to stand up while leaning towards the wall, her legs were shaking badly - but she felt much better.

_I wonder why... Only yesterday I felt terrible... As if I was going to die from the pain..._

Hitsugaya wasn't there, and neither were the medics. Hinamori felt the loneliness grab hold of her heart. She pressed her hands against her chest as if to support herself, and to remove some of the pressure. That was when she noticed something.

Inside of her sleeve, a small flask and a piece of paper had been placed. Being overly curious about the note, she quickly opened it and read the contents.

_Take this when you are  
feeling weak  
It's incomplete, but it  
should prove to be useful_

Hinamori could feel a slight disappointment reaching her. It had probably just been one of the medics leaving her with some medications. She sighed and sat down very carefully.

_That's right... He's leaving today, isn't he?_

A lone tear went down her cheek. She had at least wanted to say good-bye, and see him off. Now she was stuck in an empty room with a headache and a terrible aftertaste from that medicine in her mouth, unable to accomplish anything.

_What should I do...?_

Hinamori flinched.

_... That's his..._

She stood up, fully neglecting her strained body, and rushed outside. She could feel his reiatsu still - it wasn't too late. If she couldn't stop him, at least she would be able to say good-bye, and more importantly, she would be able to apologize.

_I'm the reason he's under such pressure. I can't blame him for acting so weird and hugging me and all that! He was worried, so..._

Something appeared to be bubbling up in her throat, and Hinamori fell over on the ground coughing. She covered her mouth with her hand so less people would notice her. When she removed the hand, it was covered in blood.

_... No, not yet... I'm almost there!_

She kept running for minutes that felt like hours, trying to speed up whenever she subconsciously slowed down. But Hinamori's body hadn't gotten used to her reckless movements, so eventually she had to stop. She tried raising her reiatsu so that Hitsugaya would notice her, but that only made her more exhausted.

"If... If I don't... hurry..."

It took forever before Hinamori had finally caught her breath. She readied herself for more running, but her legs wouldn't help her anymore. She fell, desperately clinging on to the rocks on the ground in order to stay conscious. She cried, and crawled - straining not only her arms but also her hands.

But by then,

Hitsugaya's reiatsu was already gone.

But she kept going.

Tears were blinding her as she fought her way through, yet she wouldn't stop.

_If I can't speak with him... If I can't say I'm sorry, I'll just have to follow him until I can...!_

But it was easier said than done, and Hinamori was well aware of that.

Yet, she just wouldn't stop.

---

... Bleh.

Constructive reviews are eternally wurved. 3


	8. Accepting in the center of disaster

Ugh, I'm sorry it took so long. And I'm truly sorry if the chapter's not readable or good enough. I rushed while writing it, and I did so in my oral skills class where everyone was discussing in load voices. And my back is killing me. Complains further I hope you will still enjoy it!

**Disclaimer: I do not own BLEACH.**

---

**EIGHT – Accepting in the center of disaster.**

---

It was truly a horrid sight.

The wind ruled in the complete silence, dancing with the ashes and hiding the ruins of what used to be a lively city with smoke and dust.

Hitsugaya's legs failed him and fell under the pressure.

_When did this happen...?_

The eyes of his companions were locked on the figure which was standing in the center of destruction. Not only Hitsugaya's legs betrayed him and the others, but also Renji's. Byakuya looked away, his eyes not wanting to watch the agony in his subordinate's eyes.

"_**Ichigo...!!**_"

---

"Shiro-chan!!"

Hinamori sat up, drenched in cold sweat. On her cheeks were traces of tears that hadn't dried during the night. When she looked around, she noticed she had been moved to Matsumoto's private quarters.

_Was it only a nightmare? But it had seemed so real..._

After taking the medicine she had been given, Hinamori felt much better. But her heart felt even worse - what was Hitsugaya doing at the moment? How was he feeling? If she could only be by his side, she would feel more at ease. But he was gone, and there was no way Hinamori would be able to follow him.

The tears came back, but the poor girl ignored them.

_I can't just sit here... Rangiku-san will help me! Surely..._

But a thought crossed her mind - if she hurried to her friend's side, would she only be in the way? Hinamori shook her head. She had mae her decision.

---

"Watch out!!"

Hitsugaya shouted, but it felt as if his voice wouldn't come out at all - he had never been this frightened before.

Renji couldn't hear him, nor could he move from the spot, his arm being nailed to the ground in a swift second. Cold sweay was running down his pale face at the sight of what he had just confirmed in front of him.

"Ichi... go..."

No one in the group could react - it was as if the cold hand of fear had grabbed their throats and wouldn't let go.

Hitsugaya saw it as well, but he was the only one who comprehended - it was Ichigo, Kurosaki Ichigo, now a complete victim of the virus. Hitsugaya's hand clutched onto the clothing on his chest, as if seeking support from his heart. Would this terrible fate befall him as well? Befall them all?

Something in Ichigo's lifeless, staring eyes seemed to react to Renji's voice and he removed Zangetsu from his arm. But he was lost, still so lost.

Kira hurried to aid his friend, but Renji pushed him away.

"Ichigo! What the hell happened to you? What happened _here_!?"

Hitsugaya's eyes met Ichigo's for a second, and he could see the hunger for blood and souls residing in them. He couldn't be saved.

"He did this", Hitsugaya calmly said. "No... The virus did. The remains of Aizen's powers." He clenched his fists, feeling completely helpless.

"_What_? What did the virus _do_?!" Renji shouted.

Hitsugaya faced him.

"It turned him into an arrancar."

---

When Hinamori stepped outside, she couldn't see anyone. She wondered where everyone were for a while, but decided not to think about it too much. They were probably all very busy since they had sent out so many on the mission.

After walking around the place for an hour, Hinamori felt slightly worried. There were no people around at all, and everything was extremely quiet.

She begand to give up her search and started going back when she suddenly spotted someone who seemed to be in a hurry. She called out to him and he stopped for a moment.

"E-excuse me", Hinamori stuttered. "Where is everybody?"

The man watched her with stressful eyes.

"You didn't know? Karakura town is gone."

Hinamori's eyes widened in fear of what could have happened.

"... What...?"

"It disappeared in an instant", said the man.

"How?" Hinamori was desperate to know. Was Hitsugaya alright?

The man hesitated a little before answering. He didn't like speaking of this matter. He sighed, and then replied:

"Apparently, there wasa huge burst of reiatsu release. We're sending reinforcements at the moment. It's very busy."

Hinamori was afraid of the answer, but she needed to know.

"... Against how many?"

The man was on his way out of there, but turned his head to give her the quick reply:

"... One."

Hinamori watched him disappear into the bushes. But she didn't see anything. In her mind, all she saw was Hitsugaya, struck with fear and fighting an impossible opponent. She cried.

If she had only been able to tell him, before this disaster...

... how much she truly loved him.

And somewhere, in the middle of the disaster itself, her feelings were silently responded.

---

I'm sorry for being so evil. I feed on your misery. :3


End file.
